Have you ever has a week you just couldn’t explain as to why you were having a bad week? Well, I have had those and here is an example of one of rough weeks.
A rough week, and even though I felt back to myself now, I can’t put my finger on why this happened.
Maybe it was from the almost 100 miles the week before.
Maybe it was the fact that almost 100 miles was the week after I pushed hard for a Half Marathon workout.
Maybe it was just one of those weeks.
Or my personal favorite:
Maybe it was the supermoon messing with my emotions.
Whatever it was, last week I was in a bad state.
I felt exhausted.
I felt very sad (and I couldn’t exactly say why).
I felt unmotivated….actually, unmotivated doesn’t cut it. I was at a scary level of unmotivated. I was indifferent to running, and the idea of running a marathon in a few weeks was just sounding like the worst thing in the world.
I had a great week of training the week before, and although I was tired as expected from a high volume week, everything had gone well, and I was excited to get to see what I could do when I laid it all out there in a few weeks.
But then Monday hit, and all I had was an easy 9 mile run. Not only did I feel tired physically, but I felt completely out of it.
Thankfully, Steve was running with me for most of it, as when we would cross a road, I wouldn’t even look. I just followed him, I was in so much of a trance.
You know how you feel when your eyes zone out, and you are just staring ahead, in a daze. It usually happens when you are looking at someone, and they catch you, and you feel like a creeper?
Yeah, I felt like that for the entire run that morning. I was just going through the motions.
Once I got home, I took my Perfect Amino, praying for a miracle (they are amazing, but not THAT good!) and some water with my Liquid Electrolyte EnduroPacks and proceeded to lay on the floor for a good 15 minutes.
Then Monday afternoon, I was meant to be on the ElliptiGO.
I willed myself to do it, but I ended up crying on it. When Steve came down to ask me what was wrong. I told him to go away.
Now do you feel sorry for him having to deal with me? 😉
I hoped Tuesday would bring a new day and a new mood.
But it didn’t.
I woke up on Tuesday feeling even worse than the day before.
When I went to the gym for my strength training, Drew knew something was wrong from the second I walked in the door. I knew he could see it, I just hoped he wouldn’t ask.
I tried to plow ahead with what I needed to do. Wanting to just lie on the floor and cry, but knowing that I needed to do this. Strength training with Drew is the main reason I have stayed healthy, and there is no way I am throwing it away now, even if I am feeling crappy.
So I did.
Drew would try to talk to me, ask general questions, but I gave him short answers. Eyes straight ahead, focused on just making it through.
Until finally, Drew stopped the timer, and coerced it out of me.
Through tears I told him I was not sure what was going on, but I just felt very down, and I didn’t know why.
I always feel better after I talk to Drew, by now he knows me so well, and he is so balanced and….well, zen (not something you would expect me to say about a strength coach, huh?), but we talked, and it felt good to get it out.
I finished the rest of my workout, and told him I would let him know how my run went.
But the problem was, I still had no desire to run.
I had already pushed my run back till after I met my Saucony rep, Trey, for coffee; it’s too cold to run at 7am.
I had already pushed my run back till after I worked out with Drew; I will feel better after my strength training.
Now I wanted to push my run back till the afternoon; I am hungry and I would rather eat lunch then go.
But the scary part was:
Not only was I pushing back my run, I was considering not doing it at all.
I did not WANT to run.
To the point to where I thought about just taking the day off without telling Steve. The fact that I was considering lying to my husband and coach, the person I trust the most in the world, was scary to me.
I decided to call him, before I decided to go follow through with my threat.
I called Steve, crying as I drove home, and as always, he talked me off the ledge, and just made me feel so much better. My wonderful, sweet, husband once again knew exactly what to say, and he reminded me of how we will get through this together.
But there was one thing, I needed to get that run done today. THIS was the day that made all the difference, the day I will draw upon in the race.
I always say that our best races occur because of the bad days, that we got it done, and this was one of those days.
I had made it through the physically exhausted days.
Now I had to get through the emotionally exhausted days.
Finally, at 3pm, enough was enough, I HAD to get this run done, and something wonderful happened.
There I was, running along, still feeling sorry for myself, the music I was listening to having no effect on my enjoyment of the run, when I see a familiar running form coming towards me.
Maggie is a new friend who lives in Lexington who I chased after one day on my run when I noticed she was running about the same speed as me.
I had only run with her once since that day, but I knew we were going to be good for one another.
Maggie smiled as she realized it was me coming towards her.
I told her how thankful I was feeling to see her, and that it was meant to be.
I explained how I had been feeling that day, and here’s where it gets weird:
Maggie told me that she had never been on the road we just met up on.
Maggie told me she was a morning person, but for some reason, she had absolutely NO desire to run (or even get out of bed that morning), so she had been putting her run off all day.
Maggie told me she never runs at this time.
Yet here we were, meeting up mid run.
Now, I am believer in things happening for a reason, and this for me was another way it was proved.
After only 20 minutes of running with her, I felt energized. By the time I left her, I only had 20 mins of running left, and I felt a new lease of life.
I still didn’t feel normal, but I felt much better, and I wanted to get home to tell Steve what had happened.
The next day I did wake up feeling back to myself, and I was very relieved.
Okay, so that was a long story, and you probably didn’t need to know it all.
But I wanted to show you that not only do I sometimes struggle with motivation, but I even consider NOT doing it.
Now, would missing that one run have made any kind of difference at my next race?
Of course not, but doing it gave me an extra something to remember on race day when I am struggling, that I put in the time, even when I did not want to.
I am an extremely driven person, so these moments are rare for me, but when they happen, they hit hard.
I just wanted to share that sometimes we all lose motivation, but if you get it done, you feel so much more accomplished, and you feel more pride that is SO worth it.
So next time you lose motivation, will yourself out the door anyway.
Your Maggie may not be a physical person, but something will happen that will reward you for doing it 🙂
I believe in you 🙂
What was your latest motivation struggle? How did you make it through?
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I’m so glad you shared this because obviously we ALL struggle with motivation and emotions…usually at the same time too!! I’m so sorry you were feeling like this but also so glad you are surrounded by people who love and care for you. And, I’m a firm believer in the universe “helping” out when we need it most a la Maggie. That is just seriously awesome and you guys were definitely meant to meet up on that run!! Let’s hope this awfulness is behind you but, if not, I know you will come out strong and smiling on the other end. xoxoxo
It’s funny, last week I went through a similar situation. I had no motivation and I showed when I had an awful Philadelphia half marathon. This was a great post Tina and one I think we can all relate too.
Tina – Your insight into your struggles with motivation touched me, as like all other runners, I often hit the motivation wall. While I agree with Allie that the universe is at play in these seemingly random meetups, I believe looking to the Creator of the universe for His sovereign will, wins over ‘karma’ every-time. It was special that Maggie came along, especially in a Purdue Half Marathon shirt…my hometown race!
Way to push through. It is so easy to hang up your hat and call it a day but you are such an incredible inspiration.
I have definitely been there- it is the worst feeling. Especially when you can’t understand why you feel that way! I know when I push my body to the brink, it can push back with those lows. Hope you’re feeling back to normal this week!
I am so thankful that you shared this Tina, because it has inspired me to just put in the work and show up to the workout regardless of how I feel.
I had that today. I had a terrible stomach ache, but I knew if I started running it would get better. I just needed to get out the door. Eventually I did and it was so worth it! As the miles ticked by, I felt better and of course was so happy that I completed the run. Thanks for sharing this with us. xoxoxo
LOVE this story. I’m totally a believer in things happening for a reason 🙂 I’ve definitely struggled with motivation before, to the point where I’ve questioned why I’m even training for something and wanting to full-on quit — usually I just have to sit with the feeling and let it pass, as it usually does eventually. Thanks for sharing and for being such a BIG inspiration!
We all believe in you!
Please don’t feel as though you always have to feel at your best, and always want to go out Running.
We all have our downtimes, even when we have no idea why we don’t feel our usual cheery selves.
I love Running, because it is so much like everyday life; most of the times it’s hard, sometimes it feels pretty good, and every now again, it’s great. We undergo tough times in everyday life, just like during our Runs, but we always get through them!