I have a post scheduled for tomorrow (this) morning.
I spent time earlier this week writing my reflection about the London Marathon.
I spent time making sure the grammar was correct, making sure it flowed well, the paragraphs were broken up into easy to read chunks.
I spent time getting images together and editing them to make sure they fit the requirements of how to make a sharable post.
But yet, that post is not what you are reading right now. This is.
I just finished reading an article on the story of 19 year old Madison Holleran. I watched the video from Madison Holleran’s family and friends. It just hit me about how Madison Holleran’s suicide could have been any of us.
This is where our strive for perfection has taken us.
I know it is not just me. I know many of you are so called perfectionists, and I am more guilty than anyone of feeling the need to “do the best I can” in everything I do. A few months ago, I wrote the post called Redefining the Best You Can, but that was just for running.
What does it mean if we let go of this need to prove ourselves within our easy running, yet we do not do it for the rest of our life?
Madison’s social media accounts showed a happy girl. Her Instagram photos displayed images of someone who seemed to have it all, although her family said that she was indeed happy in those moments, and she was a “live in the moment” person, they did not show what was going on behind the scenes.
We are all guilty of this.
Painting a picture that we are so happy, but really, what we are doing is looking at what others are doing, and thinking, WOW I wish I had that/did that/saw that/lived that life. You can fill in the blanks with whatever you want, but we do it.
I have fallen into the trap many times of looking at other runners, thinking hey, thats not fair. Why is everything working for them, but not for me? Why are they running faster than me? And I am an elite runner! I am sure some of you think that about me.
The point is, we need to let go of this NEED to be perfect, this NEED to show our best selves all the time.
It is okay to cry, it is okay to say you are struggling, and it is okay to reach out for help.
I have sometimes been guilty of sharing too much, and warned not to be as honest on my blog, but you know what, if it helps people, then to me it is worth it. If it gives one person hope that they are not the only one struggling, then it is all worthwhile.
So for that reason, for Madison, I am going to keep on sharing. I am going to keep letting my word vomit come out, share with the world about the ups and especially the downs, as there are many of them.
Just like my friend Carla (whose book What You Can When You Can came out this week), I am going to do my best to do what I can at that precise moment, trying to accept that there is no such thing as perfect.
We can only do what we can in that present moment, and that is all we can ask for.
My main point of this post is to tell you; my family, my friends, my readers, even if this is just your first time reading my blog, that I am here for you. If you need a friend, if you need someone to vent to, or even just ask a question, I am here.
I hope that you know by now that I do not mind sharing the bad, I do not mind sharing the insights, or the fact that I look into the mirror multiple times a day wondering if I would be faster if I was skinnier. But then I tell myself NO. It is my strength, it is what makes me strong, and it means I can enjoy the foods I love, rather than just wishing I could enjoy them. I am not perfect, and that is okay!
Or how about, every day I have to fight the urge not to look at some of the Instagram accounts of other runners who make me green with jealousy. I stay away from them because they make me doubt myself, feel bad about myself, and want to see them fail. I don’t like that side of me, but it is how I feel so to avoid the craving to be perfect, I avoid it as best I can.
Or maybe that when I try to take pictures of food, and they do not turn out how I want them to (like the featured image for this post), I feel like throwing the plate out the window, and I usually cry in frustration….yes, over something as insignificant like a plate of food that appears on my blog, but to me I will be judged, people will laugh if my photo does not look professional. Once again, I have to….okay, actually Steve has to remind me, that it doesn’t matter!
Those are just three examples of my impossible quest to be perfect, but I am vowing that I will keep trying to let them go, to accept Tina Muir for who she is.
Those who truly care and love you, will truly care about you no matter what you do.
There is no such thing as perfect, and the sooner we all accept that. The better off we will be. I am going to try. Will you join me by sharing something you want to get off your chest? If you do not want to say it on here, will you email me please? My email is at the bottom of this page.
Sorry for the long ramble, that came out as one big essay. I am not adding images throughout the post. I am not going to make a click to tweet, I am not going to make this post as “sharable” as possible. This post is not about that. This post is about letting go of perfection.
You can read the post on Madison here.